Dirty Dirt for Sale

Yesterday when we had our little septic adventure, pretty much everyone correctly identified the effluent with the first word out of their mouth. Today when I drove by, I sanctified the excremental expletive with the modifier: Holy. You see the wet, nasty, contaminated dirt had to be removed, so they were digging an enormous hole. I voted for selling the contaminated soil on C'list as fertilized topsoil, but I was voted off the island. So, we scooped.

And put it into the dump truck to be hauled away.

The work was done so effeciently and masterfully, I just had to go up and compliment the operator of the tractor.  It was a little disconcerting that his feet didn't reach the floor.

So, I got closer.  Huh, that's funny.  Haven't I seen him somewhere before?

You know you're getting older when the construction workers start to look like mere children to you!  At any rate, if he can build a driveway like this, I don't care how old he looks.

Tomorrow we'll put on the gravel and then batten down the hatches, because the weather man says it's going to rain.  If we get any dirt washing down on the road, the erosion inspector has promised to give us some broth without any bread, spank us all soundly and send us to bed.  Or something like that.  I know it's bad...

We're In Deep Doo Doo Now

I find it ironic that my screen name on some forums is "Buckhead Hillbilly," because today when we broke ground, well, up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.

Only it wasn't oil that was bubbling up.

And we weren't in Beverly Hills, there weren't any movie stars, and

this ain't no swimmin' pool.

Apparently, our soon to be next door neighbors' septic tank was overburdened and very close to the area for the new driveway. When we started clearing old leaves and dirt from the roadside, things began to get stinky. When the trac hoe pulled up the pine tree stump, it was wet and subsequent excavation filled up with yucky water. That was a nasty surprise.

What we needed then was a miracle. We couldn't quite fit the pine stump cork back in the bottle, so we needed to go to plan B. Luckily, I had an ace up my sleeve. I knew that the Seagraves had been doing septic tanks for this family since before indoor plumbing, so I called Chuck Seagraves (my new best friend). In a few hours, Chuck came out located the tank and the drain line and had a crew out pumping out the septic tank.

It was almost perfect. We had a solution to a bad problem. The problem was being fixed, but still I wasn't satified. You see, we had tractors; we had poop; what we really needed here was boys. So, I called a modeling agency and told them that I needed two 4 year old boys as quickly as possible.

See? Now isn't that bettter? Boys just complete the scene. And look at this pair! How long have they been modeling? Look at those angelic looks of intense interest.

Kinda give you hope that tomorrow will be a better day, doesn't it?

Ready to Roll

They are ready to roll.

And they are hungry!

They will begin to devour the earth and create as they destroy.

And what will they create? They will create a new driveway tomorrow.

It will begin here:

And then it will swoop up here:

And finally it will join the old driveway here.

Stay tuned for more updates!

All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

What a pity we weren't dressing up the lot like this near Halloween! What a glorious extravaganza of orange and black! What a pity we can't get the inspectors to come to our party and bask in our glory! Have you ever thrown a party that nobody came to?

Now things are beginning to take shape. You can begin to see where the new driveway will be. Here it is looking up from the street. The black silt fencing is nestled snug to the ground with the ivy all dug away. That way no mud can wash below the silt fence. The stylish orange fencing is the tree protection. I can't imagine that it offers much protection except that the bulldozer operators stop to stare at its orange beauty and don't run into the trees.

Hopefully, tomorrow we'll get an inpector to come and have a look at the beautiful Halloween themed fencing. I hope they like what we (I'm using "we" kind of loosely here) have done. Then if we can just get some instruction on how the driveway apron needs to meet the street we'll be ready to crank up a bulldozer.

I Fought the Law and the Law Won

Well, the powers that be down at City Hall have determined that a driveway is, indeed, a structure. Therefore our lot cannot be a vacant lot, because a vacant lot cannot have had a structure on it in the last 5 years. Because our lot is not a vacant lot, we have to pay for every tree we cut down rather than paying maximum recompense. Needless to say, I am not a happy camper. However, there is nothing to do but soldier on, and so we will.

"X" marks the spot

The tree saga continues. We are still trying to sort out whether or not a driveway constitutes a "structure." It's clear that other parts of city code do not consider a driveway a structure, but the arborist division is special because it deals with trees. Everybody loves trees. Gary the builder loves trees, too. See, how he is putting a big X on this tree? He didn't put O's on the trees, because he could just give them a hug.

Meanwhile, the building permit has been through the building division and the zoning division. Apparently all we are waiting on now is the arborist division and the tree posting. Comcast, AT&
T and Georgia Power are all finalizing the plans to put the utilities underground. We should be getting very close to breaking ground.

Is It Better to Ask Permission or Forgiveness?

You really do need a sense of humor to embark on a house building project in the City of Atlanta. Today, I was thrilled to see the tree removal sign posted on our lot. That means someone downtown is actually looking at our permit application!

I also got a big kick out of the location of the sign. They plunked the sign down right in front of a stump of a tree we had already cut down due to root rot. Now if I had thought of it, I might have staged a photo like this, but this was a found shot. It's greatly symbolic of the whole processing of dealing with City Hall, though, don't you think?

Tomorrow I get to try to convince the arborist division that this lot is undeveloped.

For some reason, even though the tree ordinance says that a new lot of record (which this is) or a lot that has been vacant and not had a structure on it for 5 years (how about never?) can use the maximum recompense for tree fees, the arbors consider this a developed lot, because it has an easement driveway on it. Go figure! But then again, look where they put the notice about removing trees. Just sayin...